I used the word "incarnation" in my past writings as a descriptive of those times in my life when I stopped cycling for an extended period and then started up again. The last time I used the phrase I said that I was in my 4th cycling incarnation. Well, the actual definition of incarnation refers to a deity assuming flesh form and is a bit too religious for my current mind set. So I will now refer to cat lives instead. I am currently in my 5th cat life of cycling, something I did not foresee.
If you read my previous blog of two years ago-see below- you will be left with the impression that, after two years of cancer treatments, I was diminished in body, mind, and spirit, and resigned to unremarkable but still very enjoyable cycling. What occurred after that blog post was a gradual improvement in my health which empowered my resiliency in steady increments. I didn't realize that it takes a long time to recover from cancer treatment, I'm talking not months but years. But recover I did -up to the point where I decided to join a gym, something I've never done before. So while I had been more or less cycling steadily the last few years and my lower body was fit enough, my upper body was languishing in mediocrity. My health plan covers a gym membership, so I jumped into it.
I started in Feb. 2024 and visited the gym 2 or 3 times a week. It was exciting, a whole new world of equipment and culture to immerse in. Yes it was hard at first, I was weak. I was sore a lot. But after 2 months I was feeling stronger, lifting slightly heavier light weights, and my self image improved. I was feeling good and optimistic for the first time in a long time.
Then... an accident happened that set me back to ZERO...
In late April I was riding my bike through a local park on a bike path alongside a large center island of shrubbery. The next thing I knew I was staring at nothing but blue sky. "Damn it blue sky!" was my first thought. Other times in my past I had crashed or passed out and awoke to the blue sky scene, sometimes with clouds or trees, so I knew it meant bad things had happened.
I didn't know what the hell had happened, but I had crashed HARD. I lay there on the pavement stunned. I now believe I was unconscious for a few seconds. I didn't try to get up, I lay there pondering my situation. A man walked up to me and said "I'm so sorry, my dog ran into you". He had two large yellow dogs, one on a leash, the other unleashed. "I let my dog off leash to run after squirrels..." The dog, a large 75lb Husky type, bounding out of the shrubbery, ran full speed into my front wheel. I never saw it coming. I landed on my right side, stretched out, contacting every part of my body from my right pinky toe to my knee, hip, elbow, shoulder, and head. I suffered 4 fractured ribs and multiple contusions. No head injuries I'm happy to say, and I retired that helmet for a new one.
The evening of the fall I stiffened up so badly I needed a walker to get to the bathroom. Everything seemed to hurt, especially my ribs. My doctor said it would take 8-12 weeks to return to normal activities and to not do anything physical. That time period was exceedingly difficult for me due to the not doing part. I need to ride my bike, garden, work out at the gym, to feel normal. To be sedentary, other than short walks, for two months was mental torture. My delicate flower of a wife had to do all the lifting for me. Also, knowing that my physical fitness I had previously achieved was going to evaporate was depressing. During this period I celebrated having lived 7 decades on this planet. Despite everything that has happened, I'm still here. It could have been much worse. I counted my blessings.
I'll add that a silver lining during my convalescence was that I turned to my guitar everyday and played for an hour or more. At the end of three months I was playing much more naturally which made me smile. Guitar has been a struggle for me for many years and I got over a big hump.
Fast forward to July. I started cycling again, and going back to the gym. It was like starting all over, but ok, this time I knew what to do so it would be faster gains. In August I bought a used e-bike from a friend, on impulse, as he offered me a great deal. The e-bike is a 2010Trek city bike converted with a Swytch kit- a fun thing to obsess over technically, and I found myself riding it when I otherwise would not go out- such as the late afternoon when the headwinds start up in my town. Hauling grocery loads are effortless now. The experience is fun but not what I would call pleasurable. The bike is heavy and barely rideable without the motor on. To motorize your bike is to remove its soul. Soul is exchanged for power and effortless speed. The rider/bike connection is sedated. Surprisingly, after a month or two of e-biking, I found myself craving the cycling soul experience only my road bikes can provide. The e-bike will be for around town only.
So I turned to my three road machines once again and asked myself what I needed to do to make them more comfortable machines to spend time on. Neck pain has been a limitation on longer rides so I shortened the handlebar reach and raised the height, which helps very much. As I began riding longer distances, I added in more hills added to the mix. I'm finding that my gym work has strengthened my neck and back lessening the discomfort of the classic road bike posture. These mechanical and strength improvements have made a big difference.
Yesterday I took a 3.5 hr. ride that was about 28 miles with over 1600' of climbing and it was transcendent. Yes, I'll admit that after the ride I was "done" for the day energy wise, and my neck ached a little, but the joy I felt riding my old hill routes more than exceeds the effort. I felt like Flash again, albeit a slower version, but speed is the least of my goals. Vintage guy on a vintage bike riding up a vintage hill at a stately pace, that's the new Flash.
Taking a break atop the Berkeley hills overlooking a stunning view of the Bay Area on a crystal clear day, having gotten there under my own power, at my stage in life, despite the setbacks and formerly abandoned dreams, is priceless. My bicycle is my time machine and while powering it feelings of joy, nostalgia, past glories and travails, the memories of rides, people, and places all blend and combine into a continuous moment of Oneness. For it always was and forever shall be. That's the best that I can describe the feeling. It's magical. My fifth cat life.
I've avoided hill riding for 10 years because I told myself that I was simply no longer capable of doing it. My mindset was informed by years of physical and mental hardships and I don't fault myself for thinking that.
For a myriad of reasons, you too may feel like your best days are behind you, that you can't match what you used to be, that you work too hard, your responsibilities are to great, that you are too old, too debilitated or injured, and thus feel defeated and just give up. My message is that you can reboot yourself into a new version of your cycling self that can still provide you the life enriching essence of soul and meaning so missing in today's 21st century life. Your body is amazingly resilient and can overcome many injuries and diseases if treated with respect and reverence. Start slow and go easy, find the joy in it, and you too may surprise yourself.
Ride On My Friends
Flash
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